For the life of me, I could not figure out how Al was managing to keep a bird perched—without budging—between his feet on the porch step.
“You’ve gotta see this,” I said to Bob, who had finally sat down after an extra long day’s work.
Humouring me, he got up and came to look out our living room window at our across-the-street neighbour.
“That’s a water bottle,” he said wearily, and sat back down.
By now, I should know my eyes are wonky, and for some strange reason, prone to conjuring up critters, but I haven’t had an animal hallucination in such a long time. And besides, they seem so real.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved all kinds of animals—including the ones other people hate—like spiders and snakes.
I’m not sure if that’s related to my many “sightings” of frogs, turtles and possums—AKA dancing leaves or piles of snow—throughout the years, (not to mention a giant mailbox in Dunnville that made me slam on the brakes, thinking it was a moose); but the last major sighting was the one that prompted a trip to the eye doctor’s, several years ago.
Bob and I were strolling along the beach and from far away, I saw a dog.
“Here, puppy,” I called, bending over and putting my hands out in front of me, while Bob looked at me like I was a lunatic.
“What?” I asked, wondering why the dog wouldn’t come.
“It’s a drain pipe,” he said. “You’re getting glasses!”
I must admit, Bob is the most even-keeled person I’ve ever met. But the previous night, while approaching the railway crossing on Allanport Road, I’d screamed out, “Train!”
It was a building.
In my defense, it was really dark out, and the building seemed like it was headed right at us.
Still, as Bob remarked, it was about three storeys high, so unlikely to lurch onto the roadway.
Plus, it was a building.
Sigh.
I suppose I could get my eyes checked. But who has the time?
Besides, I’ve been wearing glasses for distance ever since my last appointment—following the train incident—and still seeing animals.
Does anyone else have this weird condition?
Just for fun, I opted for Googling “animal hallucinations.”
Here’s what it said: “Parkinson's disease, depression, psychosis, and epilepsy medications may trigger hallucination symptoms. Other conditions can also cause hallucinations. These causes can include: terminal illnesses, such as AIDS, brain cancer, or kidney and liver failure.”
Yikes! Suddenly, a visit with an optometrist doesn’t seem quite so scary.
According to Google, stress can also bring on hallucinations.
But the only thing stressing me out right now is the latest onslaught of snow, making this another in-like-a-lion, out-like-an-even-bigger-lion month of March.
Plus, it’s supposed to be springtime.
Still, there's no use making a mountain out of a molehill. Or, in my case, a mole out of a snow hill.
Instead, I think I’ll take advantage of Mother Nature’s early April Fool’s trick and go make an Easter bunny out of snow in the front yard.
