I’m never the quickest one to catch on to things, but I believe I finally understand why Pelham has such a horde of evening dog walkers. We’ve got the third-oldest demographic in Niagara Region, from which one could extrapolate that as a population we Pelhamites consume a significant amount of dietary fibre to keep things regular. And we all know that fibre causes bloating and gas.
After-dinner dog walking in Pelham has zero to do with actually providing exercise for the dogs.
My first clue came a couple weekends ago when my wife and I were dog-sitting Spud, our kids’ Golden Labrador mix. We’d have our fibre-rich, mostly vegetarian dinner, then out Spud and I would go for our neighbourhood cruise. By the third evening I realized that my walks were quite noisy, if you know what I mean. I only hoped that those we met on the sidewalk and folks barbecuing in their back yards would think it was Spud making all the racket, not me.
I believe dog walking is frequently a cover for fart walking, a term recently coined by Mairlyn Smith, a Toronto cookbook author and the fast-rising TikTok star. In one of her videos she shared that she and her husband walk an hour each evening after consuming their high-fibre diet. The purpose is to reduce bloating, gas and indigestion, and significant farting is essential to a successful walk.
I may have led an overly sheltered life, but I can’t imagine getting up from dinner, doing the dishes and clean-up, then saying to my wife, “Shall we go for our fart walk now, babe?” or honey, sweetie, darling, or whatever term of endearment you might use. Not going to happen at our home.
It would be so much easier just to get a dog and say, “Gotta take Spud for a walk,” then slip out the back door, as it were.
A word of warning before you continue. Do not leave your computer screen in sight of any young kids capable of reading. My nine-year-old granddaughter noticed the title of this piece as I was composing it, and through a mouth full of poorly suppressed giggles, asked me what a fart walk was. In an effort to respect her young intellectual curiosity I explained the basics.
“Mom, Grampa goes for fart walks!” she screamed as she immediately ran through the house laughing. “Nola,” she called to her five-year-old sister. “Guess what? Grampa does fart walks!” An hour later, giggling all the while, she was telling her friends and random neighbourhood strangers the same details.
Before we get off track, there’s actually lots of science to back up Mairlyn’s Smith’s claims.
One of the first trial studies into this phenomenon was performed with eight cyclists as subjects and patients. As confirmed by the American National Library of Medicine, the Italian trial lead by gastroenterologist Albert Villoria tested eight patients complaining of abdominal bloating and “impaired tolerance and clearance of intestinal gas loads.”
The purpose of the test was to prove that, “mild exercise enhances intestinal clearance and prevents retention of intestinal gas loads in healthy subjects.”
Their methodology seemed a bit harsh to this cyclist, but hey, we’re a tough and dedicated bunch. Patients were continuously infused with 12 milliliters of gas mixture per minute into their jejunum (middle section of the small intestine) for an incredible two hours while simultaneously being given limited amounts of duodenal lipids which cause gastric relaxation. In my unscientific opinion this was necessary to prevent the riders from exploding.
Their methodology seemed a bit harsh to this cyclist, but hey, we’re a tough and dedicated bunch
Gas evacuation and abdominal girth were then measured at 15 minute intervals during a routine of five minutes pedaling and three minutes rest. The procedure was later repeated without a pedaling component to generate the control data.
The results showed that without the pedaling, subjects retained twice as much gas compared to when they pedaled, and suffered abdominal distension directly related to the amount of gas retained. The conclusion was that even mild physical activity improves intestinal gas clearance and reduces symptoms of abdominal bloating.
Mild exercise, walking, pedaling or any aerobic effort stimulates our abdominal muscles. This creates internal pressure in our stomach which helps the release of gas from the stomach to the small intestine, a process called gastric emptying. Some physical movement of our intestines, called gut motility, is a necessary part of breaking down the food in our systems, as well as stimulating bowel movements to promote regularity and reduce constipation.
Moving food through our gastrointestinal system more quickly can also reduce gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD, or heartburn) by reducing the time digestive acids are at work.
Be cautioned, however, that while the absorption of some medications is enhanced by walking, other compounds such as digoxin, which may be used in cardiac drugs, and riboflavin, are reduced if they are rushed through our GI tracts.
As an additional benefit of walking, with or without a flatulence factor, the American Diabetes Society and many other groups suggest walking helps reduce blood sugar and improve insulin sensitivity. Physical activity increases our rate of muscular glucose uptake which in turn increases insulin sensitivity in our cells.
Now here we are at 7:00 p.m., an hour after finishing dinner. An hour is the Fart Walking experts’ recommended wait time for best results before sauntering outdoors. I contacted the folks at the Meridian Community Centre to check if there were any flatulence-related walking regulations regarding use of their indoor track, but haven’t heard back.
Where are you, Spud? Come on, buddy, we’re off for a healthy toot and trot.
